Hail the Conquering Hero-Sort Of

Lee returned for duty this morning, freshly shaved, ironed and pressed and bearing gifts. Bags and bags of home-made cookies, fudge,  brownies, etc., that he’d  purchased at a Charity Bake off for those of us on duty at NIMR to enjoy.

How nice, I thought, especially as he’d been  at odds with Nelson about going. Yes, Lee was the epitome of the caring Captain we’d all come to know and love.

“So you’re back,” Nelson said. “How’d it go?”

“Next time, I’ll be on assignment with ONI and don’t think I can’t swing it. By the way, I brought you something extra special,” he handed the Admiral  one of the gaily wrapped pink bags still in his hands, “I  suggest you have one right away….”

“I had a late breakfast.  Give it to Morton.  I’m sure he can find room someplace in that bottomless pit of his.”

But Lee vigorously shook his head ‘no’ toward me before I could reach for the bag. Good thing too, as he had a gleam  in his eye,  the kind that reminded me of a devious or marauding vampire.

“Uh, I really really think you should have one, sir, “he tried again.

“Oh, Harry?” Edith danced into the outer office,  “Did Lee tell you? Oh it was just wonderful! And,” she said proudly, “no sooner than I had to run to the ladies’ room, somebody purchased  all of  my spinach puffs!  The hotel  said it was billed it to personal account at  some local corporation.  At least Lee had  been able  to have a few earlier…”

“I’m very happy for you honey.”

“Oh, what’s this?”

“Lee brought me a few goodies from the event.”

“May I? I hardly had a chance to sample  any one else's creations.”

Before Nelson could say yes, she’d dipped her hand in the bag and pulled out one of her own Spinach Puffs.

 “Harry was telling me how disappointed he was that he couldn’t  join you for the big day,” Lee said hurridly, “isn’t that so, Harry. It’s okay. They’ve been refrigerated all night,  and reheated just a while ago.”

“Er, yes…I’ll um, have these later…with supper…”

“Heavens,” Edith said, “You don’t have to wait that long.”

“Go ahead boss,” Lee smirked, “live a little.”

It was then that I knew Lee had a death wish. (Nelson had no choice but to pop one in his mouth)  Just then the phone rang and as Angie answered it she turned pale and looked at Lee askance.

“Er…Admiral….call for you…Accounting Department.”

“I’ll take it in my office, Angie,” Nelson said as he sprayed a few crumbs, grateful that he’d been saved by the bell from any more of his sister's  culinary creations, “ I’m sorry Edie…duty calls…. Why not let Lee finish these up? I’m sure he’ll appreciate having the rest of them. Isn’t that right, Lad?”

Now, normally, Nelson uses ‘Lad’ as a term of affection, especially toward Lee. This time it was dripping with  vitriol.  Yes,  Lee was in deep  doo doo.

As Edith began to lead Lee away toward the door,  who looked more like a lamb to the slaughter than the Captain of the Seaview (she'd popped the first of the rest of the puffs  from  the bag into his mouth) and  stopped by Angie’s desk to gossip,  we heard Nelson holler.

“How much was charged to my personal account?”

 Lee suddenly turned and grinned at me,  “All’s fair in love and Spinach Puffs.”